I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
