new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
