Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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