she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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