Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
