no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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