I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
