Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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