Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
