is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
