just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
