I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Shame - the story of my life.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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