I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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