Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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