I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I smell stomach acid.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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