no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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