Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
