Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
