She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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