i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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