used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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