careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
