its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
