This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
