I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
