He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
