I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
