Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
