Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
