I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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