what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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