Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
