His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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