hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
