I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
