this beer tastes like vomit already
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
