was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
