take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
