the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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