my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
