look no pants
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
