some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
