you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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