that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
