if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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