Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
