She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
