For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
