I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
