do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
