What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
