what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
