No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
