Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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