And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
