You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
